People always describe me as happy, fun, and very optimistic. I cannot disagree with them, as I am a very happy person. I try to live in the moment as much as I can. I count my lucky stars, everyday , for the life I live, for my health. My struggles and battles make me stronger. I always try to stay positive, for myself and for those around me who have a harder time doing so. I am, by nature, a bubbly person, and I always find a way to smile about something (ok maybe not always, but most of the time).

This doesn’t mean that I don’t have my shitty days, and heaven knows that I do have shitty days. Who doesn’t? When I am not smiling, people (including my own husband and parents) automatically think something is troubling me, or that I am hiding something from them, or that I am sick. I clearly do not have a “resting bitch face’’, so people are used to seeing a smile. I also blame this on the fact that I have worked in hotels for almost 11 years, where one must always smile. I am that person who smiles (with both the mouth and eyes) at strangers on the streets, in elevators and in grocery lines. Creepy. I know! I can’t help it though.

My blog posts are honest, and reflect my thoughts, my emotions, and my opinions. I got myself into this to spread body positivity, and to talk about self-love and self-acceptance. This is a message that I believe in with all my heart, and will continue to live by. I will also continue to encourage people and to help people to find it in them, and will continue to do so for as long as I can.

Staying positive and spreading that vibe is hard at times, I totally get it. Lately, people that I truly love have been going through some rough times, and it hurts. I keep thinking to myself, “why would I blog about happy thoughts, happy moments, when these people are going through fucking hell?”. I do KNOW that they wouldn’t want me to stop, but I tend to stop myself. Guilt, sadness. I am a VERY emotional person. I cry (a lot). I love (hard, and a lot). I empathize all the time. I can’t watch the news because it hurts my heart. I am an animal activist, but yet I refuse to watch more than 2 seconds of those Animal Rescue commercials. My blog posts are about life, and life is not always happy moments, as much as we wish it was. My blog posts reflect how I am feeling, my opinions, my likes and dislikes. Lately, I have been feeling sad for others, more than usual. The older I am getting, the more of an emotional mess I am becoming. A real hot emotional mess!

With all of these feelings of sadness flowing through my veins for these people whom I love and are struggling, I can’t help but feel grateful. Grateful that I have these people in my life, and that I can be there for them, whenever they need me : a call to check up on them, a text with an inside joke to make them smile, a quick visit to give them a hug and kiss. I wish I could do more. I often feel like I don’t do enough. Story of my life. The strength and courage in people inspire me: the strength to make sure that they will win the battles and struggles they are facing, the courage to ask for help when they thought they would never need to. Struggles. Everybody is struggling in their own way. I have been receiving beautiful messages and emails from people who feel comfortable sharing their struggles and stories with me. Beautiful souls who tell me that I am inspiring them to find self-love, and self-acceptance. All I can say is that If I am giving you the slight push you needed, then I will continue to do so until I possibly can, but you get all of the credit, not me. You have have all allowed me into your lives, and allowed yourselves to trust me with your stories, and for this I am forever grateful.

Grateful. I am a 31 year old woman, living a life filled with happy and hard moments, in love and loved, surrounded by people who get me, people who want the best for me, people whom I know will always be there fore me. I wish this for everybody. Life is full of shit sometimes, but we must do our best at embracing all of the beauty that it offers us also. Be grateful that you can be there for someone who really needs you, who really appreciates you.

I am feeling inspired again. I am so happy that I get to share my feelings, and thoughts with you. THANK YOU! Speaking of inspiration, I discovered an amazing co-working space in Montreal called Lemonade, my new workspace where I will be blogging from. They have swings. This is no joke! Blogging while swinging, exactly what I need to get my creative juices flowing. Montrealers, check it out www.lemonadeworkspace.com

At Lemonade , blogging from a swing

That’s all for now. Enjoy your Sunday my lovelies.

Be good, be kind, and keep smiling.

Love,

Tonina

XOX