It’s official. It’s my first blog. The moment I have been fearing since I came up with this wild idea that I should share my thoughts with you lovely people, in hopes that you will connect with me, and get me, just like my loved ones do. The truth is, I want to connect with you. I want to know what makes you Live , Laugh , Love and swear a little , too.

Makeup by Marilyn Duval (www.marilynduval.com) Photo by Tamara Dell’Olio

Diary of Curvy Girl, oh how I love saying it. I AM a curvy girl, this is my diary, and you all will help me create it. Before I get started, I am warning you, I do have a bit (a lot) of a potty mouth ,but I will be on my best lady like behavior and express myself as eloquently as I possibly can. How long will that last? God only knows. I swear a lot when I get super excited, uper angry, super sad, super anything!

It’s 9pm and I am sitting on my couch, ready to type away, excited to express myself, to talk about what other women are probably feeling. I should be on my treadmill downstairs, but I made the conscious decision to postpone my exercise routine to tomorrow morning so that I can finally begin this journey, on my laptop. Living out this crazy idea one word at a time.

Live , Laugh, Love… sounds a little cliché , right? Perhaps it does, but fuck it,  this is my motto in life (so much for being lady like huh?) I’ve always been the “funny girl”, without really trying. In high school, I had lots of friends, girl friends, guy friends, no boyfriends though, but I think I was ok with that. I made people laugh. I was the chubby funny girl, but people just saw me as funny, yet I always made sure to remind people that I was also CHUBBY . That was my coping mechanism I guess. It’s all clear to me now, looking back, right? I had a blast in high school, without the boyfriends. I had tons of crushes, and awesome girlfriends, and one best guy friend (still is my best bud today). Why I am talking about high school? That was 15 years ago. Well, those are the darkest times for young women. I was not bullied, I walked with my head high and made sure to give off this “I love myself” attitude, and you know what, it saved me from going through what could have been very tough times. Sure , some people made comments about me behind my back, which always made its way back to me ,and I dealt with it the best way possible, I just kept being me, just kept laughing. So I guess this explains LAUGH… but no, there is so much more to it. Laughing is healthy , it’s fun, and laughing at yourself is important (all while still respecting yourself. Yes, it’s possible; I do it all the time). I guess I am your stereotypical chubby , oh sorry, curvy funny girl, and I wouldn’t want it any other way! 

Love, Love, Love … yourself. It’s hard, I know, it’s not easy. It took me a while before actually believing what my parents, and family members have been telling me my entire life, that I am worth it and that I am fabulous. It’s not like I woke up one morning and said YES, this is the day that I WILL love myself, like really love myself. It took a weight loss journey, and some crappy relationships to finally start realizing my worth. I weighed 250 at my heaviest, when I was 18 years old, and even at my heaviest, I think I liked myself more than most girls did at that age, and I was a very overweight. Yes, I wore some questionable clubbing outfits, but that’s ok, I thought I was the “shit”. At the age of 20, my ankles started hurting… and that was my “AH-HA!!” moment. I lost 80 lbs. I went down to 170 lbs , still curvy, yes indeed, and to me, that was my healthy body weight for my big thick ass bones. That was the beginning of the new “physical” me. I was still funny, I still loved life, but yet I just felt healthier. Health, health, health…. So important. The most important.

Weight, such a taboo thing to talk about yet I always felt so comfortable talking about it with everybody. I am definitely not your traditional woman, but what does traditional mean anyway? Be you, be free, be as shameless as you can be… in public or in private, just be true to yourself.

If you would like to share some of your “AH-HA!!” moments with me, I would love to hear from you. It can be about anything that you finally accepted to take charge of , and own it!

Ciao for now my readers,

Love, Tonina